Ate a purple M&M, woke up in bed with Tucker Carlson

Let me start off by saying that the real purpose of the GOP’s performative nonsense is to distract people from what they’re really up to, namely advocating for the wealthy and expressing disdain for whomever they’ve deemed to be the “other” at the moment.

Yes, we shouldn’t stand for the “anti-woke” nonsense currently in vogue, but keeping your eyes on the prize (winning elections) should always be top of mind. Remember, they really don’t believe their nonsense, even if the MAGAt class does.

Does anybody really think Fox News Tucker Carlson feels so passionately about a candy brand’s marketing, that he’ll go on air and imply it’s threatening his masculinity? (I’ll come back to this.)

President Lyndon B. Johnson once said, “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

The Republican repertoire for the other is only limited by their imagination. It’s as if RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel gets up in the morning and spins the Wheel of Misfortune. Round and round and round it goes until it alights on today’s enemy of the people.

On the days it stops on Black people, we get nonsense from modern day minstrels like Hershel Walker and Ye. Brown people = the caravans headed for the border loaded with drugs and led by MS-13 members. Gays = Trans people are accused of grooming otherwise straight heterosexuals into a life of debauchery. Educators = Brainwashing youth about history, –coming soon– refusing to teach creationism. Doctors = Injecting people with 5G chips. People with funny accents = probably terrorists. The list goes on…

The word “woke” –appropriated from Black Lives activists– is the catchall phrase for people, policies, and politeness disliked by reactionaries.

Florida is so anti-woke that the books in teachers’ classroom libraries are being removed from circulation until they can be reviewed by a designated censor. Although Gov. Desantis denies this claim, teachers, librarians and principles have all expressed a fear of being prosecuted if they fail to comply with this edict.

• As a result, one Manatee teacher reported being forced to take Sneezy the Snowman and Dragons Love Tacos off the shelves pending review. Other teachers, fearing criminal liability, are telling students not to bring in “unvetted” books from home:

Officials in Texas, which holds the lead nationally in terms of book titles that are banned from schools, are desperately trying to gather a list of all transgender people in the state. The state’s indicted Attorney General made a big deal in the media, saying he was willing to look into prosecuting sodomy charges, based on a very convoluted interpretation of the Supreme Court’s Roe v Wade decision last year.

And then there’s Tucker Carlson, the I’m-not-a-white-nationalist talking head at Fox News.

He spent a segment of his highly rated talk show railing against the decision of Mars to revamp M&M candies last year. which are featured in red, green, orange, yellow, brown and blue, giving them more nuanced personalities. The green M&M ditched high-heeled boots in favor of sneakers and the brown candy opted for lower heels instead of stilettos.

• “Mars set out to make their M&Ms characters as unattractive as possible, because when you’re intentionally repulsive in theory you’ve got the right politics. So the green M&M lost her sexy boots, the brown M&M her stiletto heels, […] then Mars set out to make “frumpy lesbian M&Ms”.

Mars recently announced they were pausing their “woke” candy ads, and Tucker just about peed his pants.

What he, and all the other people taking this seriously, don’t realize is that Maya Rudolph, the newly designated spokesperson for the candies, is about as progressive politically as you get in Hollywood. (Maybe just a hair to the right of Jane Fonda.)

What this is really about is M&M advertising in the upcoming SuperBowl. After skipping a year, the candy company is rolling out a sugar bomb on February 12th.

Anybody wanna bet the woke candies reappear?

(Yes, today’s headline is nonsense. Get a life if you took it seriously.)

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Getting back to some real news:

The Justice Department and eight states sued Google on Tuesday, alleging that its dominance in digital advertising harms competition.

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